A young lady sent a text to my phone and it read:
“Hi, I just saw a copy of Femina (2006). I want to know if it is possible for a girl to stay virgin through out varsity education despite the pressures? I’ve heard so much and sincerely I am scared …” Ibk (from Akure).
This text had sparked up a deep burden in my heart to answer this particular question in the hearts of so many of our little girls who are about to leave Secondary school and may not even have anyone to whom they are bold or free enough to present the above question.
On campus you meet a lot of people from all backgrounds and categories of life and you meet your true self the way you really are (the real you). The new found liberty, self accountability and the opportunity to express the real you all form the basis for the challenges that have lay many conquered.
The campus life challenge starts at the level of your mind. You are beginning to think and conclude. You say I don’t think I will be able to stay a virgin for long, so you are about to enter a campus that presents a picture of “who will disvirgin me” and not “why would I allow myself to be disvirgined”at this stage of my life. Hence the challenge tasking your skill, knowledge and intelligence is as a result of your own mindset and thought pattern. Success or failure? It all starts in the mind. What you see yourself become in a campus environment goes a long way to defining reality for you on that campus. It’s all about you. Unfortunately most girls have already concluded that they would be disvirgined on campus ever before they got there. I believe that for such ladies, parental counsel and biblical instruction are just a waste until those words get to change their mental orientation.
The campus is not a place where girls taste sex for the first time. The campus is not a place that enforces and compels all the new comers to become immoral. No! The campus is not the place to have boyfriends or even a fiancé (It’s amazing how some people cut loose in their final year simply because they’ve not found a marriage partner). No! The campus is simply a place (camp) where students are camped for intensive and professional learning purposes and also a place that is as you see it!
If you see the campus as a place where you would be able to express to the whole world that you were not just godly because of your parents but that godliness was already part of you, that is exactly what will happen. If you see the campus as an opportunity to affect your generation for God, you will do just that. In the same vein if you see it as a place where any thing can happen, then sincerely, anything can happen! The question goes to my dear secondary school leavers; How do you see it? On campus you become what you thought of becoming.
Begin to program your mind aright for this camp that takes every young girl away from the direct oversight of her parents and grants her the desired opportunity to express herself by herself for herself whichever way she wants it. You can be the best student in your department. You can become the Sister’s Coordinator of the Joint believer’s fellowship. You can be the first person to ever graduate with a first class honors in that department since the school was established. You can be a hero for God. You can be the sister that every lady looks up to as a role model. You can be … (whatever you want to be). Note that you can also become the most notorious, the most immoral or the most sexually perverse girl in your faculty. You can also choose to be the girlfriend of the richest club boy. You don’t need a prophet to tell you what will become of you on campus. It is rooted in your dreams and it’s in your answer to the question, “How do you see it?”
When you arrive on campus, you will always find others whose picture of campus is like yours. They will become your friends and together you would help yourselves achieve that dream wether good or bad. It all depends on how you see it so watch how you think!
When I entered campus, I had a plan. I had a dream. There was something I wanted to achieve both academically and spiritually. I had it written down in a book. Those were the things that determined who became my friend and who I had to run away from. From day 1, I made up my mind to be outstanding in my class and to make such an impact in that school that those who come there 50years after will feel the impact of my life. I made up my mind never to defile myself sexually despite the fact that I had my room (private) to myself. Do you know that is exactly what happened?
By 200L, I was a tutorial lecturer in my department. By 500L, I had become a notable VOICE for God on campus, the founder of Math Science Christian Asso., the visionaire of SOV, the academic secretary of my fellowship, e.t.c. I never had a carry over. I never had any sexual relations with any lady. I never proposed marriage to any lady except to my wonderful wife to whom I am presently joined to for life. I don’t know what others have told you but this is it. These things are real. These things are possible. They are attainable and you can achieve it. Yes! You can! But always remember, IT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU SEE IT!
Part of this paper was presented at Paragon Group of Schools with the Title “Problems and Challenges of Campus Life” on the 19thJuly, 2007 by Dr (Mrs.) O. S. Babalola