When some good men announce the good news about their wedding date, the truth is that the hopes of many feminine hearts are dashed. My heart sincerely goes out to all our dear sisters who sincerely had revelations, received confirmations and in fact saw a dear brother in the dream proposing marriage to them or walking them down the aisle. Such good news births some silent inward downcast feelings covered with lovely smiles of warm felicitations and compulsory rejoicing.
Just like the disciples on the road to Emmaus said in Luke 24:21 “But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel…”
Sincerely I have been there. Seeing how hearts bond and melt together as brothers and sisters serve God together, pray, worship, study and minister together…Serious signal interferences of flesh and soul occur in the transmitting and receiving of marital inclined visions and revelations and sincerely things happen, especially as today’s single brothers like keeping the amber lights on everywhere for spread of benefit.
Dear Sister, please be careful with revelations and visions of a life partner. Seeing you are the one on the receiving end…the damage and shock it would bring to you to hear of the joy of that brother getting married to another who did not serve the ministry as much as you did may be too heart rendering to leave your faith in God shattered for a while.
Please be careful about friends who confirm marital visions and revelations… saying stuffs like the Lord showed or told me Bro. XYZ is your husband. Many have been sent to psychotherapy wards because of them while others have made terrible mistakes by getting married to just anyone as though to fight God back for deceiving them.
Sincerely, as a pastor who has reached out to a lot of single ladies I can tell you that the number of emotionally battered sisters arising from brothers (assumed to be interested in marriage) getting married to other sisters is so alarming…all because of thoughts like “I held on to what God showed me and it won’t fail”. Some would even go as far as cursing the relationship of the brothers as though to redeem his soul from error.
Dear Sister, if there is a particular brother God has shown you in a vision or revelation, please remember that this your vision is NOT SCRIPTURE. Remember that it is subject to your spiritual capacity to understand and interpret divine signals. Remember that it is also subject to interferences of your own personal interests, likes, taste, body chemistry, family interests, societal/peer pressure, dislikes and at times even ministry interests. So please if you have such “My daughter, this is your husband” kind of visions that point to a particular brother who you know and is probably around you, please harken unto my counsel:
1.) TAKE IT AS A CODED INFORMATION AND NOT A MARCHING ORDER: As a coded information, it means that you would pursue the interpretation rather than take it on the face value. For example, it may mean that you would meet your husband through that brother. Some interpretations only get clear with time. It could be suicidal to base your actions on the face value of a CODE.
2.) PLEASE DON’T MAKE ANY MOVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN: When God reveals a thing to you, He is not doing so because He needs you to help Him bring it to pass. Many times it’s a guiding light for you to identify His doings and not a light for you to do something! In fact for such marital visions, I would advise a deliberate stepping back once such visions begin to surface. Do it such that it would be clearly God and not the resultant cumulative effect of your little tactical or stylish support to make it happen.
3.) DON’T USE THE VISION AS A BASIS TO DISCARD OTHER PROPOSALS PRIMA FACIE: Remember it is a CODE. That God showed you a vision where you saw your husband as a doctor can mean too many things than your small mind (seeing a medical doctor) can grasp. The doctor God showed you may be a farmer who would end up building hospitals all over villages. So treat every new proposal on its own merit through due process and be sure your NO would be your NO even if you saw no other face in an earlier vision.
4.) PUT THE VISION BEHIND YOU AND NOT IN FRONT. It is best when the vision comes into remembrance when events unfold rather than using the vision to censor events. Please don’t start planning your life and future around that brother. Don’t go and apply for a job in his present location. He has not proposed ma! Any sign of interest he shows in you is only a sign to you based on your thinking pattern. Sign is NOT PROPOSAL and HAS NEVER BEEN. SIGN is not SURE. Only PROPOSAL IS PROPOSAL. Please note that, “I think of you” is not proposal.
5.) PLEASE NEVER LIVE YOUR LIFE WAITING ON OR LOOKING UP TO ANY HUMAN BEING. Many daughters have waited on men (Not God) in vain. Please don’t go and hang. Don’t join that terrible list. The guy God showed you may even disagree with God but If God is your focus, it wouldn’t be your own issue. The author (Jesus) is the only one the Bible said we should be looking up to and keeping our eyes on. Maidservants keep their eyes on their master and never on a fellow manservant.
Peradventure you are suffering from such a disappointment or dashing of hopes, please have a mind reset. You may also feel free to talk to your pastor or send me a mail.
Meanwhile, brothers! Stop putting on the trafficator unconsciously…you can kill person.
Timely Wisdom…Freely Share.
Segun Coker
seguncoker@schoolofvirtue.org